


Written In Your Heart

by SapphicTAZ



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, But the straight love interests got nerfed, Canon Gay Relationship, F/F, Hurloane, Princess and the Pauper AU, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23806837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicTAZ/pseuds/SapphicTAZ
Summary: A Barbie Princess and the Pauper AU Where Hurley is Princess Anneliese and Sloane is Erika.
Relationships: Hurley/Sloane (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 18





	1. Free

The wind lashed at the sides of The Raven’s face as she hurtled at full force towards the finish line. There was no questioning if she would win at this point in the race, she may as well already have the prize in her hands.

Her heart thrummed in her chest. Hair that had loosened itself from her braid clung to her face. Her hands ached from gripping the steering wheel. She craved this: the excitement and adrenaline. These feelings couldn’t be rivaled.

Only one Battlewagon was close enough to register in her mind as a possible threat. A familiar dingey wooden card. Being on the road despite its condition was a miracle and somehow the rider managed to get it to unimaginable speeds for it’s built. The Ram had appeared on the track only a couple of months ago, and already, she rivaled many of the top teams in the league. With the exception, of course, of The Raven; who remained undefeated.

The Raven’s wagon glided over the finish line to a crowd that had gathered, cheering and exchanging money. The Raven only ever stayed here long enough to collect her prize and be on her way. She waited for the other wagons to pull in, counting the seconds.

The Hammerheads pulled up in second, surprising Sloane. It seemed almost impossible that they could have surpassed The Ram, even with their suspiciously souped-up Battlewagon.

Other wagons found their way to the finish. The Raven shook hands with the race’s donor and collected her prize, a nice sum of gold pieces. The Hammerheads stood behind, sneering and calling out nasty things, trying to get a rise out of her. It never worked. 

Why had they won? 

As soon as she was back inside of her Battlewagon, The Raven checked her mirror for any other wagons still on the track. There was no sign of The Ram. She’d never seen her cross the finish line. As little as she should care, The Raven couldn’t help but be curious. She turned her wagon around and headed back down the course.

The last stretch was usually flat and straight, as to let the audience see as much of the action as possible. It wasn’t hard to figure out what had happened.

In a ditch on the side of the road, a heap of wood that vaguely resembled a vehicle was littered over a ten-meter wide area. The Raven slowed her cart to a stop by the rubble. It was obvious that whatever happened was the result of an attack, the wood was singed in a way that The Raven knew well from attacks on her own wagon. A body lay under the rubble, a hand reaching out in a feeble attempt to push the pieces of her cart away. 

The Ram was a fair racer. Never attacked unless provoked, never spoke nasty words at the finish line; in fact, she never spoke at all, taking an approach similar to The Raven’s. The Ram was one of the only other contestants that The Raven could honestly say she enjoyed racing against. The sight was… sad. An unfair end for such a fair person…

Shit.

She had to do something.

The Raven stepped out of her cart, letting out an unwilling sigh. Others raced past, paying no mind to the scene. The Raven made her way through the rubble. She could see the halfling, who had stopped struggling and had probably lost consciousness. She unceremoniously pushed the rubble away and scooped the smaller person into her arms. It was awkward, she didn’t know this person or even entirely why she was helping them. The Hammerheads already had their victory, they probably already believed they’d killed The Ram.

But for whatever reason, The Raven couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t give that group of gaudy thugs the satisfaction of this kill. They didn’t deserve it. 

So, the Raven laid The Ram across the back seat of her car and headed home.

*

A knock sounded on the door of Sloane’s apartment. A tired-looking dwarf stood in the hallway, looking pissed as all hell. 

“Why can’t they hold your battle-whatever races at a more reasonable time.” He said while walking into the apartment with a first aid kit. “I need my sleep, Sloane.”

“You also need your plants watered on your weekends away, Merle. Give some lose some, ya-know?” 

Merle huffed at her, setting up at the dining table, he took a moment to look Sloane over. “You look like you don’t have a scratch on you. Why did you call me up? This isn’t fair.” He started packing back up, eyebrows drawn together in frustration. He muttered about how much he hated pranks.

“Wait, stop,” Sloane said, she gestured to her couch where a very beaten up Halfling lay, a blanket haphazardly draped over her. 

“Ohhhhh shit,” Merle said, a teasing tone in his voice. Sloane pinched the bridge of her nose. “You brought a girl home.”

“Sure, whatever Merle, just make sure she doesn’t fucking die.”

Merle sat down on the coffee table to assess the damage while Sloane leaned against the dining room table. He hmmed and hawwed at The Ram’s condition. Finally looking up at Sloane. “Do I wanna ask how she got this fucked up?”

“Hammerheads.”

“I hate those dudes!” Merle shook his head. “She’s in pretty rough shape, but I think I can mostly heal ’er up.”

Sloane didn’t respond, only walking across the room to sit next to Merle. She watched, quietly as he cast spells over The Ram, wounds binding themselves shut. Then Merle went to take The Ram’s mask off.

“Wait.” Sloane stopped him. “We can’t just blow her identity. Mask’s there for a reason.”

Merle shook his head “With an impact like that, that mask could’ve cut into the gal’s face. I’m not gonna let her die of infection after all the spell slots I already burned.”

Sloane felt uneasy. But this was necessary - according to Merle at least. “... Okay.”

Sloane looked away as Merle took the girl’s mask off, but his gasp caught her off guard and her eyes snapped to The Ram.

“What have you gotten yourself into…” Merle muttered.

Despite the cuts the mask made in her skin, this was a face familiar to every citizen of Goldcliff. This was the face of a person Sloane has spent years envying. A face that was only ever seen from far away, but still easily recognizable. This was Princess Hurley. Soon to be the Queen of Goldcliff, on the couch of Sloane’s disheveled apartment. 

“Shit…”

Merle closed her wounds, casting a couple of extra spells to keep from scarring, then stood slowly. “That’s all I can do.” He said. “She should be fine, but I don’t wanna get messed up in whatever this is” His eyes went from Sloane to Hurley and back to Sloane, already backing out of the apartment. “Don’t forget to water my hydrangeas this weekend!”

“Thanks,” Sloane said, still dumbstruck. 

*

Hurley remembered being hit. Her wagon lurching into the side of the road. She remembered bright, burning pain everywhere. She remembered being trapped under wood and splinters. What she didn’t remember, was getting to safety. Her eyes fluttered open, and she was surprised to be awake and not dead. What was more surprising was that the room she was in was not familiar at all. 

A woman sat across from her, looking at the screen of her stone of far speech. Her face was angular and stern. She had long black hair, tied into a bun on top of her head. It was startling to see her without a mask. She looked so normal here. Hurley almost didn’t recognize her, but of course, she did. She was the reason Hurley had started racing in the first place. The most popular criminal in Goldcliff.

“The Raven” 

The Raven looked up, a little surprised. “The Ram.” She said. “Or should I say, The Princess?”

“What… Did you save me or something?”

The Ravens nose wrinkled. “I guess.” She said reluctantly.

Neither talked for a few seconds. Hurley was trying to gather what was going on. Was The Raven holding her for ransom? Kidnapping had never been on her record. The Raven’s expression just seemed like she didn’t know what to do next, brown eyes darting around.

“A little hypocritical to be racing when you’re the one in control of the laws against it, huh.” The Raven finally said.

“I didn’t think you even knew laws existed.” Hurley shot back, regretting it a bit. They were definitely not on teasing terms, The Raven would definitely take this as an insult. This was the absolute worst thing she could have said.

Then The Raven’s laugh rang out, it was gravely and sweet. “Gotta know ‘em to break ‘em.” she said. 

Hurley couldn’t help cracking a smile. She moved to sit up. Pain rushed through her body as she did. “Fuck”

“Take it easy there.” The Raven said. “You got hit pretty hard, I had a healer come by but you’re definitely gonna be sore for the next couple days.”

“Thank you,” Hurley said. “I… won’t mention that a saw you.”

“That’s a relief. “ The Raven stood up, checking the watch on her wrist. “I need to head to work.” She said. “Apartment’s ground level, I’d suggest you go out the window, or my landlord’s gonna get really nosey.”

“You have a job?” Hurley asked.

“Uh… Kinda, I guess.” The Raven wandered to the kitchen on the other side of the room. “My parents died and left me with a whole lotta debt so I have to work to pay it off. The stealing stuff… that’s just so I can eat, ya know? I mean… I guess you wouldn’t.” The Raven chuckled

The situation was surreal. Hurley was dumbstruck. “Oh.”

“Not everyone’s a princess.” The Raven said. “We have shitty lives.”

Hurley only nodded. She didn’t really have the right to disagree.

The Raven scooped up a bag and some other belongings. “See ya on the track.” She said.

“My cart’s busted…”

The Raven stopped for a second “Oh…” She stood there for a second, brows furrowed. “I’m building something new.” She said. “Need’s two passengers. You’re good - not as good as me, but good.”

Hurley’s jaw dropped.

“We can talk about it. I’ll find you.” Sloane said and headed out the door.


	2. I Am A Girl Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain captain Bane and Spider Brian are introduced to the scene. Brian is a creep, Bane is a himbo. The Raven drops in.

  
  


Brian was gonna _kill her_.

Hurley snuck out a window of The Raven’s apartment, which, she discovered, was halfway across town from the castle. Hurley’s whole body ached as she trudged through the streets of Goldcliff. She had a blanket from the apartment wrapped around her as a sort of cloak to keep wandering eyes away. Taking the blanket left her with guilt that gathered in her stomach. The Raven’s apartment was in a crumbling building that looked as if it could be condemned any day. Hurley promised herself she’d either return it or pay for it next time she saw The Raven. Maybe both. 

_ The Ram and The Raven were going to race together.  _

She couldn’t shake the thought from running through her head over and over again. The Raven was known to strictly work alone. Hurley couldn’t wrap her head around how The Raven had chosen  _ her. _

Sure: Hurley was a good racer. She learned everything she knew by watching The Raven race for years before deciding to take to the track herself. She definitely was not the best though. She was easily thrown into a ditch by the Hammerheads, of all people. Hurley wasn’t the kind of racer that ever stuck around for too long and yet, The Raven decided to trust her. Maybe it was a ploy to get money and favor from the crown, but The Raven had to know at this point that Hurley wasn’t able to delve into the coffers for a good cart. Hence, the piece of junk she found in a dump, may it rest in peace.

The sun had risen by the time Hurley got back to the castle. Her maids thought that Hurley would wake up early to wander the castle and generally didn’t think much of her being gone on mornings like this one.

. 

There was a window to a hallway at the back of the castle that was rarely used. The area around it was overgrown with weeds and ivy. No one wandered back here so the groundskeepers never paid much attention to it. Hurley figured out how to pop the pane of glass from the window out and back in years ago, giving her an easy entrance. 

These back hallways of the castle always smelled like must and spices. They weren’t regularly lit with lamps, leaving only natural light from the windows. This caused the hallway to be dim, with harsh shadows. 

In one of these shadows, a man with armor and a bright purple shoulder cape stood with crossed arms. Hurley saw him before she had a chance to be startled. His eyebrows raised when he saw the princess. “Long night?”

“You know it,” Hurley said. “Can’t keep the women away.” 

Bane snorted, falling into step with Hurley. “Brian is gonna lose his mind, Hurley, you have to pay more attention to what time you’re getting back.”

Bane followed the news on races closely. Being captain of the royal guard, trailing The Raven was his job. As soon as he saw that a halfling monk had joined the scene, he knew it was Hurley. Bane thought it was good for Hurley to get out. He’d never spill any of her secrets to the royal court but he’d never let her live it down if he knew she’d gotten hurt. Bane would probably figure out at some point, but for now, she didn’t feel like dealing with his concern. “You’re right” she mumbled. 

They walked together, squabbling over nonsensical shit like they’d done since they were both kids. At some point they went their separate ways; Bane mumbled about a new case involving The Raven as he headed to his office.

Before continuing to Brian’s office Hurley took a couple of minutes to stop by her quarters. She changed out of her dirty, ripped up dress from the night before and into a nice pink one with a white and gold bodice. She fought with her hair a bit but gave up after a minute. Carefully, she folded The Raven’s blanket and set it on her bed. It really was a warm blanket. 

On her way out the door, Hurley doubled back to grab a pen and put it in her dress pocket. She might as well be prepared if she couldn’t be the professional Lady everyone wanted her to be.

Brian’s office was… lavish to say the least. Everything was velvet and decorated with gold and gems. He had an obsession with decorative trinkets of spiders that made her uneasy, staring at her from all directions of the room. The man was a freak. Somehow he proved to be a valuable advisor of her mother, which caused the court to appoint him as Hurley’s advisor as well.

“Oh! Eet zeems you’ve finally decided to join me for our meeting, crown prinzess.” Brian said in an unimpressed tone, making one of his smaller spider figurines hop across his desk absentmindedly. “Ven had vee scheduled zis meeting? An hour ago?”

“My apologies, sir,” Hurley said, curtsying clumsily due to the pain that still lingered despite her wounds being no longer visible.

Brian gave a hmmph in reply, waving her towards an open chair.

“How do you ever expect to be fiit to rule if you keep acting like thees, darling.”

“I’m very sorry, I should have kept an eye on the time, Sir,” Hurley said. She hated Brian’s use of pet names. He did it with everyone, even Bane, who hated it even more than her. 

“You have grass een your hair, dear,” Brian said.

Reaching up to her hair, Hurley discovered that Brian was not lying. Shit.

Brian let out a big dramatic sigh, almost knocking over a couple of his prized spiders. Hurley had to fight herself not to roll her eyes. 

“Not everyone eez given the geeft of leadership at birth I suppose,” Brian said. “Thees is why we have thee tradition to geet engaged before one’s coronation.” Brian gave Hurley a pointed look.

“I’m not courting anyone right now. The kingdom is in need of a ruler. The council has already decided that-”

“Eet is just a suggestion dear.” Brian rested his head on his hand, rolling his eyes. Hurley thought it was unfair how professional she was forced to act around him while he acted like this. “Many great leaders see zeir beau az a great comfort.” Brian looked back at Hurley. “Maybee even a truzted advisor?”

No.

Nonononononononono.

Ew.

“Brian.” Hurley let the formality drop from her voice. “You know I’m gay, right?”

Brian’s smile widened. His teeth were unnaturally white. Hurley could swear he got them professionally pointed. “Zis does not matter.” Hurley was gonna vom. “Theze engagements and marriagez are strictly political, darling.”

“No.” Hurley snapped. “I have always appreciated your advisory, Brian, but we both know that is not what I want” She pauses before adding in a softer tone. “Or what my mother would have wanted.”

“Eet is eemportant to make choicez that are best for your kingdom, dear.” Brian said, seemingly unscathed by Hurley’s reply. “Zey may not alvays be ze choices zat make you happy.” he then added, mimicking Hurley’s tone. “You’re Mother would have vanted vatever is best for her kingdom.”

Hurley was using every fiber of her being to keep herself composed. “Brian.” she said, voice shaking. “I am not going to marry you or anyone else for _ politics _ .”

Brian’s smile dropped, his eyes narrowed. “Hurley, vee both know there eez no way you can be a successful ruler on your own. My impession eez that you don’t even vant to be queen” He said, “You need to stop acting like a child.”

Hurley stood up, turned around, and left the office. Not before secretly snatching one of Brian’s spiders. You can’t be professional all the time. She closed the door behind her and threw the spider to the floor, crushing it with her heal.

*

Generally, people in the palace other than the groundskeepers left this part of the gardens alone. It was well known that The Crown Princess of Goldcliff came here to mope which was a completely unfair assumption… and exactly what Hurley was doing.

At this point firing Brian would only upset the council, and they already didn’t like Hurley. Brian was well established and surprisingly well-liked in the court. Apparently outside of being a shitty guy and a creep, he was a pretty cool guy. 

Hurley walked around a bit before settling on a concrete bench by a hedge. Her little space was a corner of the gardens with a small pond in front of the bench. Anemones and Gladiolus were planted in beds that framed the pond. Two Peach trees stood on either side. It was beautiful. It contrasted Hurley’s mood in a perfect, messed up way. 

She leaned forward, and put her head in her hands, closed her eyes and wished the world was simpler. This was what she always did when things got to be too much. Shutting everything out made herself a lot easier to live with.

A voice broke her daze, “Oh shit. Uh… are you okay?”

Hurley’s head snapped up. She glanced around the garden: no one was there. She heard a rustling above and looked up to see The Raven scampering down the hedge behind Hurley and tentatively taking a seat on the bench.

Hurley must’ve done a great job looking startled because The Raven started looking around awkwardly. “Dumb question, I know.” She finally said.

“I thought you were working,” Hurley said

The Raven Shrugged, “Lunch Break.”

A bit of silence passed between them. They both had run into an unexpected situation. Finally, Hurley chose to speak.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” she said, “It’s castle stuff, it’s dumb”

The Raven frowned. “You can talk about it if you want. We’re going to be partners, that means we’re gonna spend a lot of time together.”

The Raven was wearing her mask, it covered a good half of her face with a beak stretching from it. It made seeing her expressions hard, but Hurley didn’t think she was joking. 

Fuck it. Who else could she talk to about this but Bane? The Raven was the only person who was not directly involved with palace affairs, which made ranting to her seem like a pretty attractive option.

“I’m not ready to be a queen,” Hurley said. She’d never admitted it out loud before.Now, somehow by admitting it, it felt more real than ever. “I’ve been preparing for it my whole life, but I’m just not good at it. My advisor says I was born without a sense of leadership.” 

“Your advisor sucks.” The Raven said

“He really does. The court likes him for some reason, so I’m stuck,” Hurley says. “I guess in every way I’m stuck.”

The Raven lets out a hmmph, looking into the pond.

Hurley feels dumb. Her problems must be birdseed in comparison to The Raven’s. She stops talking, looking into the pond. A frog jumps across the edge.

“Well,” The Raven looked at Hurley. “We both have something in common then.” 

“What?” 

The Raven gave a small smile, “We both don’t really have a choice in the life we were born into.” The Raven shrugs “We’re definitely at opposite ends of things but in the in some ways, I’m just like you.

“You’re just like me…” Hurley muttered, holding onto the words. “I guess we both would choose to be someone else if we could.”

“That’s the dream.” The Raven rested a hand on top of Hurley’s, almost making her jump. She wasn’t used to being touched so freely… it was... nice. “Probably also why we both wear masks and run around like idiots.”

Hurley laughed, something warm bubbled up inside her. Knowing that in some way, The Raven felt the same made her feel surprisingly validated. “Thanks for hearing me out.”

The Raven nodded. “I came here to talk about our team.” She said, “You still up for it, princess?”

“Yeah, of course.” Hurley says “Also, please don’t call me princess, Hurley is fine, I hate that shit.”

“Okay Hurls.”

“I- Sure” Hurley was definitely visually blushing, she hoped the gods that the other girl didn’t notice.

The Raven started digging through her pockets. “I rent space in a garage at the South side of town, we should meet there tonight to start getting things squared away...” she pulls out a scrap of paper. “I’ll give you the address…” she keeps fumbling through pockets with no results.

Hurley offered her own pen.

The Raven took it and scribbled onto the scrap. When handing it back, she smiled. “You can’t be a bad leader if you a pen with you, that’s like one of the most important things.” 

That small reassurance for some reason made Hurley feel more capable than ever. “Uh... yeah, I guess.”

The moment was broken by an enormous black bird that flew down onto The Raven’s shoulder, who didn’t flinch. She simply looked over, smiling, ruffled through its feathers, and cooed at it softly with words Hurley couldn’t hear. The Raven reached into a pocket and produced a raisin, which the bird happily crunched. 

“You have a pet?” Hurley asked.

“Nah, these ravens are wild, We’re friends. They love me, don’t you Mandy?” She said the last part to the raven, who cawed softly.

This must’ve been how The Raven got her name, which is a lot cooler than Hurley just choosing her favorite animal. 

“She’s here to send me a warning signal, I think someone’s coming.” The Raven stood, ready to climb the shrub. She stopped for a moment, looking back at Hurley “By the way, you should know, my name’s Sloane.” She said. “It’s only fair.”

Hurley watched her scale the bush. It was very catlike, which Hurley guessed was the elf in her. From the other side she heard The Raven- Sloane, call, “You know, your pretty cute when you aren’t dying!”

Hurley froze. Her face was probably completely red. Did… Sloane just call her cute? Was it the friendly way of calling someone cute just like the friendly way she was holding Hurley’s hand? Maybe she shouldn’t read into it… something made Hurley wish to the gods that Sloane wasn’t just being friendly. 

Footsteps sounded their way through the garden. As Sloane’s raven friend had warned, someone was coming.

“Hey, Hurley.” Bane said, walking into her corner. “I heard that something happened. Apparently Brian lost one of his spiders.”

“I killed it,” Hurley said. “He asked me to marry him.”

Bane sputtered and stepped back. “He what?”

Hurley described what happened: Brian’s weird insinuated proposal and the insults he had thrown Hurley’s way. Bane’s frown grew deeper, drawing deep likes on his face. “That bastard.”

“He’s a creep.”

“I’m gonna talk to him.” Bane said, standing up. He paced a bit. “What a freak”

“An asshole”

“Dick-for-brains.”

Insults were exchanged for a solid five minutes before they ran out of steam and creativity. They came to a silent consensus to stop when one of them used “Spider boy” as an insult.

“You gonna be okay?” Bane said. He stopped pacing to give Hurley a look.

Hurley nodded. She thought of Sloane and being able to race with her, and the way she made Hurley feel like her problems were real. She’d never been better.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read my Princess and The Pauper AU! I feel like this chapter had a lot of info, but next week we're jumping right into the action. I hope you're enjoying these useless lesbians being useless and gay
> 
> You can find me on tumbler @Sapphic-taz


	3. How Can I Refuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hurley gets herself into some trouble, can Sloane help her? Feat. Taako and his weirdly named bakery

The sun had set a few hours ago, which meant Sloane could work in her rented part of the garage without being noticed by anyone in the outside world. 

Dirt caked the ground from various boots that tracked it in. Magnus, who owned the garage, didn’t spend much time cleaning it. He kept his own corner tightly which he used as a sort of workshop, and the rest was forgotten. Sloane’s wagon stood in a nice shadowy corner, next to a skeleton of something new. A wagon that would change everything. 

Hurley hadn’t shown up yet. Sloane had been messing with the scrap sheets of metal she lugged in, trying to form it along the sides of the wagon for about three hours now. Hurley didn’t seem like the kind of girl that would forget about things like this. Sloane found herself looking up for a short girl with curly hair every couple minutes, feeling a jolt whenever she thought she saw a silhouette. 

Maybe Sloane had misjudged… The past would tell her she was good at that. Hurley could have been freaked out by her. Enough to agree to her ideas without any intention of following through. A lot like other’s Sloane had gotten close to in her life. Sloane could have sworn that Hurley seemed interested.

No. She couldn’t let herself think this way. It would only get in the way. Hurley could have gotten lost. it was easy with these back streets that seemed as if they were planned by throwing spaghetti on a map and tracing it. She’d go out and take a look around before giving up hope. 

It was a cool night. Sloane regretted leaving her sweater back at the apartment. She wandered through the streets as she usually did, slinking in and out of the shadows. Sneaking around was one of her favorite things. It made her feel _ completely _ badass. 

She rounded a street corner when the sound of voices reached her, echoing off of walls. 

“Come on princess, eet will be easier for everyone eef you just cooperate with me.” An eerie voice sounded from an alleyway, causing Sloane’s ears to perk up. 

Other sounds came to her attention. Ones she knew well. It was the sounds of a fight.

“Once zee court thinks you’ve run away you won’t have to become queen anymore.” The voice rang out. Sloane hated that voice… What kind of inexperienced criminal was so goddam loud? “Doezn’t that sound nice, darling? How could I refuse helping you out?”

Sloane finally made it to the entrance of the alleyway the noise came from. There, Hurley was holding her ground, fending off a group of thugs who looked strangely familiar. A tall man stood to the side of the fight, monologuing like an idiot.

It was mesmerizing, seeing Hurley fight. She moved with simultaneous grace and force that only people as experienced as Sloane herself knew. Hurley knocked out a good half of the thugs. Sloane couldn’t keep a smile off of her lips. She would let Hurley finish this herself, and be there to compliment her technique… Not that Sloane was staring at Hurley… she definitely wasn’t...

Sloane was shaken out of her haze when something changed. The slim man standing away from the action lifted a piece of metal from his pocket, muttering something under his breath. Suddenly Hurley fell to the ground, completely and unnaturally still.

“Get her off of ze street boys.” The man said, without much conviction. “Vee need to hide her avay so no one can find her, know?”

A chorus of half-hearted “yeah, boss.”es sounded from the thugs around the man. 

Sloane was shaken to her core. She watched as one of the thugs lifted hurley and threw her over a shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The whole time, she knew she should be doing something. Fighting, or at least following them, but her instincts screamed, telling her that this wasn’t worth the danger. She couldn’t trust Hurley. It would be stupid to chase after this girl. 

When the thugs cleared the area, Sloane scampered over to the alley, where Hurley just was, looking for anything that could show what in the name Isthus was going on.

A blanket. One that had gone missing from Sloane’s apartment, sat on the ground, neatly folded as if it had been placed there before the fight started to keep it safe. She picked it up, hugging it to her chest. It smelled like gravel and soap. 

Something in Sloane’s chest swelled. It was uncomfortable. It made her feel like she needed to do something, anything to help Hurley. Sure, her life in the palace wasn’t her choice, but this didn’t seem like much of a choice either…. If anything, Sloane wanted this girl to be free.

She was going to have to talk to Taako.

*

_ Sizzle It Up!  _ Was a weird-ass name for a bakery. This didn’t stop it from becoming one of the most popular bakeries in Goldcliffe. And despite that, it was stupidly easy to break into.

An elf with long blonde hair, tied up in a bun was asleep with a cheek against a kitchen counter. The smell of bread filling the room. Sloane took a minute to weigh if he would or would not shoot a magic missile at her if she woke him up. 

It reminded Sloane of the first time she’d met Taako. She had just started as The Raven and was caught trying to open his register in the middle of the night. Sneaking around without even noticing the man she was stealing from was in the room. Instead of reporting her, he let her explain, opened the register himself, and gave her a small amount of money. She left that day with one of her first friends and a loaf of bread tucked under one arm. 

Gently, she put a hand on Taako’s shoulder and shook it. He stirred. “Lup?” his eyes opened and then narrowed. “Oh. It’s you.” 

“Taako, I need your help.”

“If you think you’re getting any more money out of my cash register…”

“ _ Taako.” _

The elf in question rubbed his eyes. “What?”

“I need you to cast a spell.”

Taako yawned, “What’s up?” 

“I, uh, met someone the other day and we’re kind of friends now? I don’t know. She’s in trouble though and I need to help her.”

Taako was mostly awake now, looking at Sloane with wide eyes. “You met a girl?”

“No! I mean, yeah, but not like that.”

That only made Taako’s smile widen. “If you say so.” He turned to check on the bread in the oven. “How can I help you be her knight in shining armor?”

“I need to disguise myself as her so she doesn’t… uh… lose her job.”

Taako gave her a  _ look  _ over a shoulder . “I can’t disguise you as someone if I don’t know what she looks like, that’s not how magic works, bird girl.”

Sloane weighed her options.It was probably better not to beat around the bush “Well, she looks a lot like Princess Hurley if that helps.”

Taako blinked slowly. “The princess of Goldcliffe.” He let out a sigh. “Sloane, that’s dangerous.”

“I can’t just stand here and do nothing,” Sloane said

“Yes, you very much can.” Taako said, “In fact, you’re doing it right now.”

“She needs help and I’m the only one who knows what happened to her.” Sloane sputtered. “I’m not changing my mind.”

Taako shook his head. “This is dumb, Sloane.”

“It is.” Sloane said. 

“I’ll help you.” Taako said, seemingly giving up. “But you have to promise not to die, who else will steal my bread?”

Sloane smiled “Thank you, Taako.”

Taako walked around the kitchen searching for a second before he found his wand. “Don’t mention it.” He said, a ball of light forming itself at the tip of the wand and enveloping Sloane with magic.

*

It took Sloane a while to walk to the castle. How did Hurley deal with having such short legs? She spent the time formulating a story for what happened. 

Sloane wasn’t a great actress, which is why she stuck to the shadows instead of cheating people out of money. The disguise would be important, but she had no idea how act like a normal person, let alone royalty.

Once she got there, she was starting to realize just how exhausted she was. 

“Princess Hurley?” Sloane looked up to see a guard, stationed at the gate, looking worriedly at her. “Princess are you okay? Why are you here?”

“I’m okay now.” Sloane said. “I was kidnapped. I somehow managed to escape and make my way back.” Sloane let herself stumble a bit, hoping it was convincing. 

The guard looked surprised, which Sloane guessed was better than disbelief, and offered his arm.

“Bane!” He called “You aren’t gonna believe this!” 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading yet another chapter of this! We're starting to get into plot OwO stay tuned next week for crazy shit.


	4. To Be A Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sloane adjusts to royalty  
> Hurley does a kick  
> A Bird gets an accessory

The next morning was clumsy.

Sloane jolted awake, startled until she remembered where she was. Of course, she was in Hurley’s room, because to everyone here, she was Princess Hurley of Goldcliff, and she needed to convince them of that. Suddenly Sloane desperately wished she’d been able to spend more time with Hurley before this chaos. She wished none of this had happened in the first place. 

Her body felt… weird. Of course, it was unfamiliar, due to Taako’s spell, but strangely sore, despite not joining the fight the night before. A blossom of guilt bloomed in Sloane’s chest. Probably just side effects.

The room around her was grand. There was a vanity bigger than Sloane’s kitchen, marble floors, high ceilings, and was that a fucking chandelier? Overall, the place was far too prestigious to be a comfortable bedroom. Sloane half expected music to start playing and for this to be revealed as some surprise ball. Who needed this kind of luxury? It felt wasteful to even be here.

“Good morning, Princess.” A woman said, looking up from watering a plant by the window. “I will send for your breakfast. How are you feeling?”

Hurley had maids? It made sense but she didn’t seem like the kind of person who would like having things done for her. 

The frivolousness of it all formed a pit in Sloane’s stomach. She rolled onto her side.

“Fucking  _ great _ .” Sloane groaned, and then remembered that Hurley was royalty. Sloane’s brand of sarcasm was definitely not proper. 

The maid didn’t seem bothered. “I hope so, your schedule is full as usual. Your advisor will be here any minute.”

Sloane nodded, “Thank you.” she said, with all the poise she could muster

The woman left the room, leaving Sloane alone. This bed was far more comfortable than her own, lumpy piece of shit at the apartment. The blankets were soft and the pillows were softer. A small part of her mind knawed at her, reminding her of how strange this situation was, but a bigger part wanted to revel in comfort. That part won, and her eyelids drooped, leading her back into sleep. 

-

“I know you must be tired princess, but you still have quite a few responsibilities.”

Sloane woke up, this time, to a voice far more familiar than the woman from before. She took a moment to compose herself before pushing up into a sitting position. “Huh?” She asked sleepily.”

The same slim, slimy man from the night before. Sat in a chair at the foot of her bead, holding a clipboard. He seemed elven, like herself, but with modeled grey skin. “Of course, you don’t remember, darling,” he said in a tone that feigned sympathy but wreaked of superiority. 

Despite his pompous demeanor, Sloane could tell something about him was off. His eyes had the same glint as racers whenever she flew past them on the track. The same look as the rich old men she pickpocketed whenever she decided to take a look back. Fear. 

Hmm… She could work with that. At least for now. Convincing this stuck up creep that she didn’t remember what happened could buy her some time to find Hurley. 

“I got kidnapped,” Sloane muttered, rubbing her head. 

“Zat is, unfortunately, true, dear. I have no idea how ze royal guard let zat happen” Sloane had to keep herself from tensing at his mock concern. It’s like this man didn’t even try.

Still, she might as well string him along. “I can’t remember it that well.” Sloane scrunched her eyebrows together, it was weird expressing with a face that wasn’t hers, Hurley’s skin was noticeably smoother. It was… nice.

She could swear she heard this slimy dude give a relieved sigh at her words. “You may never remember, it eez typical to block zees things out. Nonetheless! Vee must get back to daily business, right princess?”

“Right.”

-

Hurley swore, if she woke up in an unfamiliar place one more time in the next week, she was going to scream. 

At first, she thought she was back in Sloane’s apartment. That relief drained as she took in more of her surroundings. Sunlight streamed through a half-boarded up window, onto an empty room. Hurley’s wrists were bound. This and the pain that ran through her veins reminded her of the night before.

She sat on a cement floor against the wall. It was cold and uncomfortable. 

Brian kidnapped her. Damn magic users. A weight in her chest doubled. She could’ve gotten away if it wasn’t for her creepy advisor’s magical cheating. A faint memory of dark hair and someone weaving through the shadows tugged at her. 

Hurley looked around for anything that could help her escape. Nothing. She spent a minute, clumsily standing up, without the help of her arms, and make her way to the door. She could hear two voices. Ones she recognized as Brian’s favorite guards. 

“Best two out of three!” Jerreee’s voice called.

“No way, bud.” Another grumbled- Maarvie. 

“You’re just scared that Im’a end up stronger than you.”

“Ha! You wish!.”

The door was thin enough to hear them clearly. The building she was in was clearly disintegrating. The walls were ridden with termite holes, and the ceiling slouched worryingly.

Hurley let in a slow, steady breath. In and out. In and out. Repeating until she felt her heart slow to a steady, calm pace. 

Her mother showed her how to access her ki when she was seven. It was an autumn day, with leaves in the wind and a chill in the air. They were walking in the gardens, and Hurley’s mother, a soft, brave woman, looked down at her child, with large, gray eyes, and explained Hurley’s need to defend herself. Hand in hand, they took measured breaths. Her mother guided her with steady words, telling her to reach within herself for the strongest part she could find. She told her to grab hold of that strong, steady light and pull it into the physical world, quickly and release it faster. The groundskeepers still held a grudge against Hurley for obliterating that tree…

She did as she was taught, on that cool peaceful day, moving the energy from her soul, through her muscles, as she prepared her stance, then swiftly kicked the door and light spilled out, sending it flying off of it’s hinges.

“HOLY SHIT JERREE WAS THAT YOU?”

“YOU THINK I COULD DO THAT?”

“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT”

It didn’t take long for Hurley to sweep Maarvey into a headlock, leaving Jerree stunned and staring. Maarvey blubbered unintelligibly. 

“I’m going to leave and you guys aren’t going to go running to Brian to tell him about this.” Hurley commanded.

Jerree nodded slowly as Maarvey struggled in Hurley’s grasp. Then she let him go, shoving him away from her, into the table of what seemed to be a dining room. She flipped them both off as she headed out of the door, back into the streets of Goldcliff. 

Brian underestimated Hurley’s political knowledge, but she really didn’t expect him to be dumb enough to think this rotting house and his inexperienced cronies could hold her. The front door almost fell off of its hinges when she left. 

Brian’s luck was about to run out.

-

Hurley used to like walking the streets of Goldcliff. It was a freeing feeling. But now she’d spent her last two mornings trekking across the city to the castle while her limbs were aching and bruised. Her hunger for freedom waned just a bit.

This would all be over soon. Hurley could expose Brian and finally get a better advisor. She could spend a whole day sleeping in her big, comfortable bed... 

The castle came into view, and Hurley decided against sneaking past the guard, opting to walk straight towards them. They looked at Hurley with narrowed eyes. 

“I’m back,” Hurley said. “Someone made an attempt to kidnap me.”

The guard stepped back, pointing their spear at her. “Princess Hurley has already arrived out of the clutches of kidnappers.” They said, in a voice that was surprisingly soft for how intimidating they were. “I don’t know who you are or what you’re doing. But I advise you to get far away from here.”

Stunned, Hurley starred at the guard. Their intent didn’t leave. They were completely serious. Damn. Brian must have found a way to fool everyone. Disguised himself or one of his cronies. Maybe he didn’t underestimate her as much as she thought. 

Hurley backed away, walking into the streets yet again. Her stomach growled angrily. She would give anything for a nice breakfast.

She wandered into an alley, crouching in a corner to regroup, trying to get her brain to think rationally instead of catastrophizing. 

After a few minutes, a bird landed in the alley, picking through garbage. It was sleek and black, reminding Hurley of Sloane’s hair that shined in the sunlight. Sloane would know what to do in this situation, she was smart and resourceful. Hurley needed to see Sloane.

Hurley whistled “Hey birdy” she called. “Birdy, birdy, birdyyy” 

The crow bobbed its head toward her and hopped up. 

“Good bird!” Hurley dug into the inside pocket of her cloak, taking a dark green sash out. It had detailed embroidery in it of vines and roots. A symbol of royalty recognizable by anyone raised in Goldcliff. 

“Can you bring this to Sloane?” Hurley cooed. It felt idiotic, talking to birds, but the crow hopped closer, investigating the sash. Carefully, Hurley draped it loosely around its neck like a scarf. The crow didn’t seem to mind, only shifting its weight to hold the sash. “I will give you so many treats if you do this for me, I promise,” Hurley said.

The crow gave a short, quiet caw, wandering to the other end of the alley before taking flights.

Hurley prayed that this was one of Sloane’s bird friends.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! I have been possessed by animal crossing and She Ra oops. I'm planning on posting Monday and Thursday this week to make up for it. Stay tuned for more!


	5. The Cat's Meow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no other song title to name this chapter I'm sorry xD
> 
> Sloane meets Bane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I would post this on Thursday but Oops.
> 
> Also, Bane plays a pretty neutral role in this story but I would like to remind yall that Bane is a cop, and therefore a bastard 
> 
> Ill be posting chapter 6 next Thursday where some shit will go down.

Sloane didn’t know what she expected, living life as Crown Princess Hurley of Goldcliff. Definitely not this.

She’d spent the last two hours reading over a proposed treaty from a neighboring kingdom. The wording was strange and complicated. The only thing Hurley understood was that they were willing to loan money to Goldcliff in exchange for land to mine on. The document was hundreds of pages, seemingly stating and restating a single point. 

She’d known that Goldcliff was going through a rough time. She didn’t realize how serious it had gotten. Almost every paper was to propose aid to the Kingdom. All for a price, of course. Politics were icky. 

Sloane’s head pounded. Unlike a lot of people in her financial position, she knew how to read, but her day to day didn’t require much of it. Suddenly spending hours reading complicated political proposals was like having a big rock sneak into her head and take her brain’s place. 

She took a moment to lean her head in her hands... Maybe she could take a break and walk around the hallways a little bit. 

The click of the door handle opening disrupts that thought. Her advisor swaggered in and dropped another stack of papers on the desk. Sloane tried not to groan. 

“Captain Captain Bane would like to speak with you een his office, Princess.” Brian said, “Eet is probably about the… situation last night. I can tell him about you’re lack of memory if you’d like.” He said, checking his nails nonchalantly, the same burried fear in his eyes from that morning.

Sloane made a big deal of stretching her arms over her head and cracking her fingers. “I could use a break,” she said. Hurleys arms were cute, muscley, but in a way where you wouldn’t notice if you weren’t a fighter.

“Of course, princess,” Brian said, “A break is  _ definitely  _ more important than ze political future of Goldcliff. Take your time.”

Sloane tensed. She hoped Hurley didn’t usually take this guys shit. She hoped it wouldn’t be out of character for her to deck this Brian guy right now. “I have been reading these documents for hours, Brian.” She said in a cool, measured voice. “The future of Goldcliff can survive a walk across the castle.”

Brian gave a dignified  _ “Hmmph”  _ And made his way towards the door.

Sloane smiled. 

The hallways of the Goldcliff castle were easy to get lost in. Most of them were identical with red carpeting, and portraits of past rulers on the walls. Sloane was determined, marching across hallways, making her way to Captain Captain Bane’s office. 

Captain Captain Bane… The man who had been tracking her for years. The idea of sitting in his office willingly made Sloane’s senses scream. She reminded herself that this was for Hurley, which made her question why she was doing this for Hurley. She didn’t owe the Princess of Goldcliff anything, in fact Hurley owed her. 

For some reason, for the first time in years, Sloane had decided to do something for someone without a price. The realization sank to Sloane’s stomach and sat there. 

“Hurley!” A gruff voice called. “What are you doing over here?”

Captain Captain Bane, unknowingly stood across the hallway from the most wanted criminal in Goldcliff. Sloane swallowed. “Uh, I’m just wondering.”

This made Bane chuckle. “I’ve been looking for you, did Brian even bother to tell you?”

“He did… My mind’s still scrambled, I keep losing focus.” 

Bane led her through the hallways, presumably to his office. Sloane never thought she would meet him like this. It was weird as hell. He seemed almost human compared to how she viewed him in her mind.

His office was small and simple: A desk, two chairs, some papers and a couple of photos scattered on the wall. He sat down. “So,” he started. “Some dumbass tried to kidnap you.”

“Yeah.”

“I’d hate to be that guy.” Bane laughed. “How badly did you injure them?”

“... I don’t remember.”

“Do you know what they looked like?” Bane’s brows furrowed.

“I don’t remember..”

“Huh.” Bane was quiet for a moment. “I have a theory.”

Sloane waited, wondering if Hurley would have said anything, hoping she could blame any differences in personality on being dazed. 

“I think it was Brian.” Bane said.

Sloane almost jumped. “ Brian?”

“You said he’d proposed to you. If he’s that hungry for power, he could have gotten angry and wanted you out of his way.” Bane said.

Brian had proposed to Hurley? Sloane’s stomach twisted with the idea. What a creep.

But this proved that Bane, despite being willing to arrest Sloane if he knew who she really was, was on her side. 

“Of course,” Bane said, “I have no other proof, if there’s anything you remember please tell me.”   
  


Well shit.

Might as well.

She did need to start planning how to find Hurley instead of just playing dress-up.

“I’m not Hurley.”

“You’re not… what?” 

“I, uh, I’m her friend. I saw her get kidnapped, I figured I’d need to get on the inside to find her.” Sloane fumbled, talking way too quickly. “I had a friend disguise me with a polymorph spell. Bane was going to convince the council that Hurley had run away.”

Sloane couldn’t place Bane’s expression.

“How do I know you weren’t involved?” His voice was suddenly darker, more accusing.

Sloane searched her brain but nothing came up. “You just need to trust me, I guess.”

Bane stared at her, intently, scanning her eyes. “Do you know where Hurley is?”

“If I did, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Huh.”

A silence grew and stretched out for what seemed like forever. Finally, Bane pinched the bridge of his nose. “I trust you more than Brian.” He said. “That doesn’t mean I trust you. We still need evidence.”

“He had some people with him when he kidnapped Hurley. They didn’t fight like normal thugs.” Sloane replayed the scene in her head. “Possibly soldiers.” 

“My own men.” Bane said. “I’ll keep an eye out for them. Is there anything else you know?”

“No,” Sloane said. “But I can find something.”

Bane sighed. “I guess we’re working together for the time being.” He held out his hand. “What should I call you?”

The Raven, working with the captain of the royal guard. Hilarious. She shook his hand. “Sloane.” 

-

It’s evening. Sunlight shines through a window into a room clad with gold. A drow sits at an ornate desk, looking over papers and grumbling under his breath. 

The door swings open, and the man jumps. Two other men, who are much less regal-looking, walk in. They both look worse for wear. 

The Drow glares at the men, putting a pen down on his desk, decorated with small figures of spiders. “ven will you learn how to knock?” He grumbles.

“Sorry boss.” She shorter of the two men says.

The Drow huffs. “You two are useless. How hard ees it to hold a princess hostage for 24 hours?”

“Sorry boss.” The other of the two responds. “She’s real strong.”

“Yeah!” The smaller one calls out. “She broke the door down and threatened my life before Jerree could finish breakfast.”

“But it’s fine, boss.” The other one, Jerree, says. “We found the ticket to finding her.” From behind him, he reveals a small black bird, squirming around in his hands. It caws.

“We found this here bird with the Gaia sash!” The smaller man says. “She must’ve been trying to call for help!”

The Drows frown only deepens. “zat can’t be right…” He says. The smaller man sets the sash on the drow’s desk, who examines it for a brief second. “Vat time did you say she escaped?”

“Before breakfast, boss,” Jerree says.

“Hmm,” The drow’s lips twitch into a smile. “Vat an  _ interesting  _ paradox.”

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
